It's a New Day

I did not sleep well last night which will likely affect my day. I've been manic now for several weeks, trying to hold down the spending of money I don't have, throwing out stuff I've been holding on to for years, working on the yard for the first time in as long, and juggling the racing, jostling thoughts of disaster and fear.

But it's a new day and I have the chance to decide how it goes. I want to spend the day working on my book and perhaps painting in the afternoon. I went to painting class yesterday and painted an abstract that most people liked but I find comical and irritating...but I painted it. It was in me. (It's too pink.) I'll try to post it later so you can see.

I can't control my moods but I have some control over my intentions. If this turns out to be another manic day, I may get a lot done but never actually settle down to write. Perhaps I'll edit what I've already written. That will give me some structure which always helps. Whatever happens, it's starting out to be a beautiful day and I am blessed to have a new one.

Too Many Thoughts

When I have too many thoughts in my head, I need to start writing them down. I'm writing a book of essays, poems, quotations, and artwork but it occurs to me that I should post them here first to get feedback. I'm wanting the book to be a book of commiseration for people with bipolar disorder...like this blog. If you see this blog and like what I'm doing, please let me know. All artists, writers, creators need an audience...a receiver.

The next step

The next step is for me to be honest about my being bipolar and my intention for this to become a place where I can be open about my life. I am particularly concerned about hope...the lack of it that I often feel and the need for it particularly for people with bipolar disorder. I'm not having a prticularly good night tonight and so the gentleness and hopefulness that I want to bring to others is not forthcoming. You can't give what you don't have. So perhaps what is being called for here is a little gentleness of my own...for my own sake.

I wrecked my son's car yesterday, Social Security is challenging my disability just when I quit my job, the market has eaten away my retirement, ...I could use some hope.

The Beginning...

First of all, the name...I haven't been called Kitsy since 1981 at which time I took my given name (which was also my mother's name) to sound more professional. I'm not sure I feel any more like a Kitsy than a Catherine, but we'll see where this goes...

I'm wanting to broaden my horizons artistically...hence this blog...

I already have a web site for some of my artwork... http://www.catherinesartwork.com but it is too difficult to maintain. I'm curious to see where this goes...