Neurotic

It has not escaped my attention...in fact, I noticed a long time ago...that the 'friend' I have been corresponding with has stopped asking me questions, nor is he prompting me for discussion.  Why is this?  Is he so self-absorbed that he is only interested in his comments...his life?  Or is it a strategy to slowly end our conversation? And if so, what do I do about it?

Are all bipolars neurotic?  I don't know.  I sure am.  I can see how a history of social stress can make you so.  My history of social blunders and super sensitivity cause me to be extra cautious and ...well, neurotic.  Which leads me back to what I do about it.  I can expose my neurosis and inform him of my observation.  I can stop emailing entirely and see what happens.  Or, I can continue to email as usual and feel a little hurt each time I receive his self-centered reply.

What do yo recommend?

Inappropriate Relationships

I am corresponding with a man whom I knew 32 years ago. He was a kid, 19. I was 25. Looking back on it now, I was probably using him. I have had to confess that to him now and I am ashamed. At 25, I was just beginning to manifest full blown bipolar behavior. I'm not sure what it is about bipolar behavior that causes us to have inappropriate relationships...to use people. Is it because we are impulsive when we are manic? Is it the sex drive? Is it being needy when we are depressed? All I know is we often do not take the time to think things through. For me, my boundaries were blurred. Impulsive acts of intimacy were common in my youth. Today, I am relatively stable...and alone. Have I played all my cards? Burned all my bridges? Ruined one too many relationships?

The man has been wondering what happened 32 years ago. I have had to tell him. What I thought was going to be a new friendship may simply be a healing...a coming to terms with impulsive behavior...my payback. Being bipolar has its costs. The pain of inappropriate relationships is one.