Wee Hours of the Morning

I woke up at 4 this morning to the rain outside and had an epiphany. I have become a fearful, negative, and down-trodden woman. My children...bless their hearts...are constantly criticizing me and I have internalized it all. And I'm tired of it. I've let them dictate and belittle and I've paid for it. I'll have a facebook page if I want it and Twitter if I feel like it. This is shameful and embarrassing but important. I am not at a good place and intend to change it. So how?

I just yelled at the dog. This is not good. I need a support group. I have good friends but none of them would believe my children are in any way at fault. But, then again, the fault is mine. I take it and swallow it. I ask for their input and opinions and they criticize me. I've always felt I was impervious to the put-downs but it seems I'm not because my self-esteem is at an all-time low.

So how do I change? I can take stock of my assets and accomplishments. I can review my list of things I love. I can make some decisions for myself. I can join Facebook and Twitter and the children's opinions be damned. I'd be criticized for writing this blog. No body reads this blog anyway. But I just want to "put it out there." I'm making a change...taking a stand. And writing this blog is the first step...